Tuesday, January 14, 2014

His Visit

Title: His Visit
Summary: He visits her grave.  
Disclaimer: Mutsuki Kyoko (c) waraau
Rate/Warn: Maybe it'll make you tear up a little.  
Genre: Angst/Tragedy/Romance  
A/N: Sorry for the shitty grammar and story

Hayato's POV

    I stare up at the trees, watching as the wind blows, making the leafs on the trees fly off from its tree. This is where I usually stay when I want to be alone. My room, I mean. My room is on the second floor, where the boys' dorm is at. I am currently at the balcony. It's small, but it's really comfortable. The wind is always blowing whenever I stand here, against the golden, hard railing. I put my hand along the cold railing, and thought, who made this school in the first place. Who made Riverside in the first place, I thought. To be honest, I don't know. I don't even remember why I enroll in this academy. Why did I? It's the closest high school from my current apartment. I haven't leave the place, my apartment, I mean.

    I'm still curious who made Riverside. I know, it's none of my business, but I'm curious. Curiosity kills the cat, they say. "I'm not a cat," I say to myself, leaning against the hard, golden railing, "I'm a human," I continue as I look around the view in front of me. I wince as the wind begins to blow again, making my hair waves around, eventually slapping my face. "Ouch," I grunt. I put my hands up and put my hair behind my ear and holds it as the wind blows, trying to make it not to slap my face again. I took a deep breath as I squat down, looking around Riverside from my room through the railing. Like I'm in jail. It's beautiful.

    But without her, it's not perfect. She is more beautiful. She is like the moon, shining in the dark, encouraging me not to be afraid of the dark anymore. Illuminating my life. But now the light is gone, and I am all alone again. Alone in the dark. She is gone. Since that day... Eh? I blink twice, holding my scarf, preventing it to fly away. ...Since when...?
    I don't know. I don't freaking now. Since when she left me? Since when? She never told me. She never told me that she would leave me. She promised me right? She promised me that she would never, in any circumstances, leave me? I still remember the day she told me that. I remember clearly, her word, her voice saying that she would never leave me.

He hugged her, pulling her to his embrace, softly caressing her black hair. The blonde parted his lips to ask her, "would you ever... ever leave me...?"

The girl is quite taken aback by his question. Her eyes widens, but it quickly came back to normal, as she returns the hug. "...No... Of course not...."

"...Promise...?"

"Promise."


    Something fell down from my left cheek, falling to the floor. I reach my head to it, and feeling my left cheek wet. Wet? I blink my eyes twice, widening it a little bit. Shocked, I must say, when I know that I'm currently crying. I chuckle and hug my knees, slowly crawling to my emo corner. Actually, if you look closely, you can see the dark aura that surrounds me.
    But seriously, what did I do wrong? What did I do wrong to make her left me? And not just 'left' me. She died. She freaking died. What did I do wrong? Is it because I left her side? I should've never left her side, never. If only I was always by her side, it won't be like this. It's my fault. All of this---these­---are all my fault. If only... If only...

    Mutsuki Kyoko.


    The name echoes in my head just now... is...

    Mustuki Kyoko.

    ...Her name...

    My eye shot wide open. "Mutsuki," I mutter her name, eye looking forward. I slowly stand up, my hand against the railing for support. My breath starts to turn heavy as I open the door that leads to my room. As I step inside, I immediately take my phone on my bed and totter to the door, leaving my room. I don't care about people calling me, asking me where I am going. No, you guys, it's none of your business. It's my business. Mine and only mine.

    I ran to Riverside's giant yet elegant gate. It's the usual gate, big, golden, elegant giant gate that is automatically open when someone from the school leaves. Yeah, it's the usual gate that I always pass by. It opens by itself when I am in front of it, making a way for me to leave. I put on my black jacket as I run and run. I look up to the sky as I run. It's a relief that the sky is still clear light blue. If it's not, then I'll be pissing on myself. As I arrive at the city, I immediately slow down my walking pace, bleding up with the other citizens. I don't want anyone to stare at me like I'm a criminal, do I?

    I went to a certain stand. A stand, where one sells flowers and stuffs like that. I step inside, opening the door as it makes the bell tolls.
    "Welcome!" says the shopkeeper.
    I only nod as a response, and start to look around. Kyoko... What kind of flower does she likes, I wonder? I was her boyfriend, yet I don't know. ...I was... her boyfriend. I shake my head. No, thinking like this won't get me anywhere, I thought. I have to find a flower that matches her. I have to. I totter around the shop, eyeing each of the flowers in a hurry. Kyoko, Kyoko, Kyoko. She fills my head completely, I can't think of anything else. Anything else but Kyoko.

    A beautiful smell somehow interrupts my thought, and quickly, I follow the smell. My instinct tells me that this is the one. The one that I have to give for her. It has a beautiful smell. It has a--how to describe it--very sweet, heavy floral, honey like fragrance with a short cresylic, and at other times of the day, a suave, balsamic sweet fragrance. I notice the flower I follow on its smell is a daisy. It suits her.
    
    "Ah, you like this one, Mister?" asks the shopkeeper, giving me a wide and kind smile. I won't be deceived by that kind of smile ever again.
    "Yes, I like this one," I nod, touching it softly, trying not to ruin its beautiful form. I stare at the tag below the pot, reading the text on it; Bellis perennis. Daisy. I look up again at the white flower---the white daisy, an herbaceous perennial plant with short creeping rhizomes and rosettes of small rounded or spoon-shaped leaves. It smells nice. Beautiful, also nice. Reminding me of her. "How much is this?"

    "9,000 yen!" answers the shopkeeper.
    My jaw drops hearing its price. I glance at the beautiful daisies again, and then at the shopkeeper again. "S-Sorry, can you repeat that again?" I say.
    "9,000 yen," he repeats, smiling widely.
    I close my jaw and reach for my wallet in my pocket. I cry. Almost literally.

    I gave all of my money left in my wallet for the shitty shopkeeper. I swear, he's not a shopkeeper, he's an extortioner! I groaned as I stare down at my empty wallet. I can feel imaginary tear fall down from my left eye.

    "Thank you for coming!" The extortioner's voice rang along side the bell's tolls as I leave the place. Now let's go to her... grave. I don't even know where her grave is. Maybe I can ask to people? Maybe someone knows. I hope. Do not lose hope! Why is Naegi's voice ringing in my head, I wonder. I snicker at my own weird brain. At time like this, I can still joke around. If only she was here, I'll be laughing with her, her by my side. If only...
    Again, I shake my head. This won't get me anywhere, I repeat my thoughts earlier. I begin to ask to people in the city about the Mutsuki family. I even run through the alley, even though the sky is getting darker and darker by the time. I must fight the darkness---it sounds cliche, but it is indeed for her sake. Hours by hours passed by, but I haven't got any information any slightest bit. I begin to lose hope. Hoping would do nothing, right? I must do something. But I don't know what to do. I just can hope. I can't do anything other than hoping for myself.
    I run my hand through my blonde locks as I desperately walk along the snowy street. I stare up to the white sky. "Snowing..." I mutter, "since when?" I didn't notice. Is it because I was to focused in searching for her?

    I suddenly stop in my tracks. My left eye glances to the left, and dramatically turning my head to the side. I widen my eye. I grip the bouquet of madonna lilies I bought earlier on my left hand. A smile of disbelief yet happy smile is seen on my face---it could be seen as a ridiculous expression, probably. It's a cemetery. It's a cemetery, in front of me. And there's the name, I see, quite far from me, but I still can read it with my left eye. Anything for her. Mutsuki Kyoko. Along with another Mutsukis around her.

    I run to it. As a fast runner, it only took a few seconds for me to arrive there. To her grave. I can't believe this. "It's really you," I say to myself as something starts to stream down to my left cheek. It's pure, colorless, water. It came out from my left eye like it's nothing. Like it's a waterfall.
    "Kyoko..." I almost choke as I say your name. My heart, it's beating fast, as something tries to destroy it. It hurts. Whenever I, someone, him, her, they, we, say or says your name. It hurts, my heart. It's like something breaks my heart with a rock. Or someone biting it to pieces. "I can't take this Kyoko," I say between sobs as I put the bouquet of daisies against the tombstone. I smile.
    "Kyoko," I call out her name, hoping that she would respond, but I know very well that she won't. "Do you know what flower is this?" I ask her. I wait for a while, and then speak again, "it's daisies," I say. "Its scientific name is Bellis perennis," I pat the tombstone, imagining myself patting her head like the usual times we had in the past. "Bellis is Latin for "pretty" and perennis is Latin for "everlasting"," I explain to her, as if I am trying to get in contact to her. The tears are gathering on my eyes, slowly fall down to my cheek, and then to the ground.
    "Hey, Kyoko," I call out to her once again. "Can you hear me...?" I ask between my sobs. "I'm such a crybaby aren't I," I let out a chuckle, forcing out a smile. "I must've sound like a crazy guy, talking by myself beside a grave," I say, "but I don't care. If it's for you..."

    "Kyoko, can I sing a song?" I ask for her permission. The breeze suddenly gets stronger yet calmer, making me feel comfortable, somehow, her whispering voice echoed in my head. I smile sincerely, "I take that as a yes, yes?" I take a deep breath, before my low voice echoes around the cemetery,

"Deep in the snow, under the willow
A bed of snow, a soft white pillow
Lay down your head and close your sleepy eyes
And when again they open the sun will rise"


    As I sing the first verse, the snow keeps piling up on my head slowly but surely, making my head looks like it's white. I think she's making fun of me. I laugh silently.

"Here it's safe, and here it's warm
Here the daisies guard you from all harm
Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true
Here is the place where I love you"


    As I sing the second first, I put the daisies around her grave. It hurts me so much to do this, but it's for her sake.

"Deep in the snow, hidden far away
A cloak of leaves, a moonbeam ray
Forget your woes and let your troubles lay
And when again it's morning they'll wash away"


    Another tear falls down from my left eyes as I sing the third verse, wetting one of the daisies. I mouthed a "sorry" as I force out a single smile.

"Here it's safe, and here it's warm
Here the daisies guard you from all harm
Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true
Here is the place where I love you"


    That was the last verse. The song, it was from The Hunger Games. I thought it was a beautiful song, so maybe I'll sing it to her.

    I bend down, kissing the side of the grave, the stones to be exact. "The song was short, but I hope you like it," I say to her, smiling.
    The wind suddenly went so strong, that it makes my scarf fly away from me. "Ah!" I squeaks as my face turns red because of my voice. I mean, it sounded like a girl. I run towards my scarf, which is stuck on a tree. I take my red scarf from the tree, and oh wow, did I imagine it? I think someone whispered a "thank you" to me.

    I quickly turn around, looking for a person that is nearby. No one. Everyone is busy with their own things, and no one is paying attention to me. I stare down at my leather boots in disbelief. I don't want to believe it, yet I want to believe it. That was her voice, wasn't it? That was Kyoko... Thanking me...
    I smile silently. "No, thank you, Kyoko," I mutter, replying to her. I remember her stubborn personality, and then let out a sigh, looking back to her grave. "If you insist, you're welcome," I smile softly.

    Thank you, Kyoko, for illuminating my life all this time. Thank you for everything. Thank you...

you're welcome

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